Left Out

How do I live with myself?
How do I live constantly doubting myself?
Not an ounce of faith in my being
Not one to believe
That I could matter
Nobody needs me
Nobody wants
To spend time with me
Not a word that's witty
Not a word that's funny
There's just no substance to me

I feel alone
Even when I'm not
I feel alone
Like I'm out of frame
I feel left out
And that's not gonna change

Rejection is a stabbing bitch.

Confused

How can I be so obsessed about someone who I have no right to?
It bothers me when someone doesn't reciprocate my efforts
Even if I wasn't interested
It makes me feel wanted
Especially when it feels like a crush
You want it even more
It hurts me to imagine someone going out on a date
Someone not wanting to reply
Ignoring me
It hurts so much
Yet I know it's irrational
Unnecessary
Even just as friends
I wished you'd reply
Thinking about your every move
Hurts me and bothers me
It's no one but my fault
Cause I shouldn't worry or obsess about it
It's stupid
I'm confused

Cry

Some people don't cry.
I do.
I love to cry. Cry my heart out.
When I'm sad, when I'm stressed.
When my heart is broken.
There is no better mend than to cry.
It's as if the tears took all my sorrows and hurt
And got washed away.
I'll never have to see it again.
I love you.
And I will always get hurt by you.
Because of how much I need you.
Because of how much I want to be with you.
But you can't always be near when I need you.
So I cry.
I feel better.
Tomorrow is another day.
Or maybe after this.

Christmas and Malaysia Intro

I have obviously not updated for a the longest time.... as usual. I go into a hiatus once in a while.

I have been away to Malaysia for quite a while and been jet-lagged since I came back. I am having extra difficulties sleeping tonight which is super annoying....

Just a little update about what I've been up to. I have been working nights over Christmas Eve and Day. Obviously didn't get much sleep over the period cause loads of things happening. On Christmas Day, went to church and caught some sleep. Then woke up fairly soon later cause we'll be having dinner lol... It's a lot happening in one day. What made it worse is that I had a really horrible cold with sore throat and fever. It was giving me a headache as well. I was very miserable...

Then again, I was going home soon on Boxing Day!! So was very excited. Mr Dino took me to the airport on that day. All was good until I stepped out of the car, walked a few steps, checked my pockets and realised I have forgotten my phone :( And Mr Dino is away, in the motorway somewhere... I went in, quickly sent him emails in hope he will reply me in time. Checked in and everything and continued emailing him and trying to contact him on Skype. I even tried bought credit to call my own phone and all that... But by the time he replied, it was too late. I was already inside. Oh well.. good thing I brought my other spare phone and decided to buy a Traveller Celcom Simcard when I reached KLIA. 

I had a pretty horrible trip on the flights this time around because of my stupid cold. The service and everything was fine. It was just me.. and my crap immune system. Also, I got the worst blocked ears during flights ever. On a side note (not a complaint), I had to change seats 2 times on the flight back to Malaysia. First, I was called up just before boarding to change my seats cause someone else wants to sit with their family. Fair enough. Then, I got an aisle seat which I was pretty happy about but then someone else came along and wanted to change seats with me cause she and her son had been separated.. I can't really say no. So, I ended up in the middle seat... That's me changed seats twice. 

Reached KLIA, went to LCCT and arrived in Sibu. Sigh, it's nice to be back. And then the food fest begins....

Week 8/12/13

Where do I begin? I have been busier for the past weeks + laziness + procrastinate.....= no blog updates ahhaha

I can't remember what significant events had transpired. A lot I'm sure. But if you ask me to recall it just now....uhhhh. Oops. Don't remember.....

I have pictures! As a lot of my posts are. I shall try to write as I can remember while I start posting heheh.

Lets start with some random news.

I passed my ATLS! So happy. I am doubly happy cause I failed my written exam first time and then have to resit it last Friday and PASSED! So I have a lot more reason to be happy hahaha. I just feel so proud of myself lol.

Mr Dino ran the 5K in the Santa Dash today. Took him to the run this morning. Was pretty funny looking at all the people in George Square dressed up and all that hahah. I didn't run, of course. I went to Queen Street Station and had a coffee.... :p

I have also submitted my literature review and crossing my fingers. It was such a depressing week and I have not worked so hard since my uni days....-_-

Right piccies...

Went to Silverburn after nightshift one day (which is something I do quite a few times dy) to do some Christmas shopping. Everytime I'm in Silverburn, I always stand in front of this cupcake stall and drool hahaha. They look so freaking delicious.... I just need to have them. Usually, I feel guilty about spending money and put weight on but that day, I just wanted to have some. A lil treat for myself.....:D

The Bumblebee Cakehouse 

Look at the colourful different cupcakes!! 

I got half a dozen but there are so many different types as well...  

Woooooo 

My first one - Ferrero Rocher 

Continuing with the theme, more food!! This is from a dinner session from the ATLS course I attended. Price of the course that I paid is included in the dinner...so I was defo going!! It was at Mulberry Bistro in Shawlands.

 Haggis, neeps and tatties

Fish and chips. Yumms for both and was soooo full by the end of it.

Right, I can't remember if I mentioned it, I can't even be bothered to check lol. I find it easier to just talk about it again lol...

So, we got a puppy. Well, technically, Mr Dino's mum paid for the puppy and we are sharing custody? He is soooo cute and his name is Bruce. I mean......

LOOK AT HIM!!!!! 

Awww Mr. Innocent Face (More pics coming up but arrangement misarranged and I cannot be bothered to change it).... 

I don't even know if you can see it, a line of birds on the railing lol. Lame I know. I found it interesting okayyyy?? 

1 pound burger after spending 10 pounds in a new Lidl branch ahhahaha. Quite nice for the price you know...

Tadddaaa. Brucie cute Brucie 

Despite his lil cute face, he is actually a nightmare I tell you. Very cheeky but very smart though

I think that's the pictures so far.

I am tired. I have been trying to do a bit of cardio from a Youtube video lately haha. It's good work out definitely. I don't know how effective it's going to be but it's good anyway. Should try and reduce my food intake as well really..... urgghhh

Oh, this is all because I'm going back to Malaysia after Christmas. Going for about 10 days, to Sibu and also KL lol. Can't wait! I've got things I need to buy to go back!! And on top of that, Christmas presents to get as well....geez.

I have things to write up as well. :((( I'm feeling more and more depressed as I write this in horror of realisation. But my brain is too tired. I just wanna sleep maaaannnnnn

Oh, I'm also going to see Zoe next week!! And Liying too!! So excited. Haven't seen them guys for quite a while now. SO it's going to be good!!!!

Busy weekends ahead. Absolutely..... well okay. Tata for now. I'm gonna go contemplate on what I should be doing but not actually gonna be doing.....

Week 03/11/13

Hey hey! It's been quite a while since I wrote here. I have been (again) partly busy and partly lazy....
So, I cannot really remember what I have been up to past few weeks per say....

I don't even have any new pictures that I could show you guys.

Well, in jist, I've been stressing out quite a bit with abundant of work that I am supposed to be doing... and I just hate having to spend all my time doing all these work. I know it's important for my CV and it's not like I dislike it really. It's just stressful to have so many to do at one time. It's not just physically exhausting, it's also mentally tiring just thinking about it! And plus, I am soooo lazy. This just makes it much more difficult....

Anyways, no point thinking or stressing too much about it. Just need to do my best and try to finish them the best and fastest I could... Pray for me? Pretty please.